I write this note from Colombo, Sri Lanka, thankful to be safe, but knowing that my family and I could have easily been part of that tragedy, had we spend a different weekend by the seaside to the south.

The two most visible signs of grief and coping are white banners and the collection stations. The traditional white banners of mourning are everywhere– ringing temples, mosques, and cathedrals, fluttering from homes, businesses, and cars.

The collection stations in every neighborhood reflect the diversity of Sri Lanka and the diversity of the victims. Sri Lanka is a melting pot of different ethnic groups, with big gaps between rich and poor, and divisions between these groups have boiled over into conflict in the past.

The tsunami affected every ethnic group and religion, and every income level, from poor fishermen to corporate directors. (We personally know a number of people who died or who narrowly escaped death, as does virtually everyone in this small country of 20 million.)

Contributing to the relief stations provides a way to in some way confront the tragedy and perhaps to heal some of country’s divisions.

Even the poorest people are giving what they can at the collection stations. A man donates a bag of new clothing who looks like he could use a donation himself. A group of stylishly dressed teenagers buy powdered milk. Two men on a scooter carry armloads of sleeping mats. University students collect money by the roadside.

Many couples have canceled weddings this month. Hotels have canceled their New Years celebrations, and people are instead making donations equal in value to the cost of the tickets.

To my American eyes, the closest comparison is the way the United States and the world came together to mourn and and to aid the survivors after September 11th. Much of this unity has been lost, both within the US and in our relations with the other countries.

Our generousity in standing shoulder to shoulder with Sri Lanka, India, Thailand, Indonesia, and every other country devastated by the Tsunami is more than desperately needed assistance. It’s a chance for us to heal some of our own rifts that divide nation from nation and rich against poor, to prove that the world can stand together to confront and prevent further tragedy.

If you’d like to help, see CNN.com’s list of aid sites. We see Unicef doing some especially good work here.