Humanity is a startup with 6 billion employees, a million year track record of innovation, and uncertain chances of ever becoming profitable.

Lacking any real competitors, the management preoccupies itself with title inflation, maximizing burn rate, and increasing head count. However, they have made little progress tapping into sustainable sources of revenue.

No one can quite remember where Humanity’s enormous first round of funding came from– some claim the venture was self funded, while others point to angel investors. Only one thing is certain– there will be no round B.